


letters to cadm

by christienneamber



Category: me/him - Fandom
Genre: Essay, Essays, F/M, Letters, Romance, Sad, angsty, letters to cadm, real life letters to a real life person
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-19
Updated: 2017-02-18
Packaged: 2018-09-18 13:35:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9387434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/christienneamber/pseuds/christienneamber
Summary: things that i've always wanted to say to him, but can't.so i just put 'em all here.





	1. 1/19/17

dear cadm,

 

we had our spelling bee today, i won third place, you won second. i am outrageously happy for the both of us! i'm really sorry i didn't say hi to your mum, as she was there, merely a smile was the only thing i can only produce as i saw her smiling face.

although,

i am sad.

really sad.

why?

i didn't get the chance to be with you for a long time.

i mean we did compete the spelling bee, but.

i didn't get the chance to hug you, kiss you on the cheek, or even say i love you.

i know i'm clingy as hell, but that's the way i am.

and now i'm here at home, missing you so, so dearly.

wishing and praying to the gods that you notice me and spend at least an hour with me.

because i miss you.

is it bad that i do? because i really, really do.

i miss you in my arms, honestly.

 

i love you too much.

 

i do not know what has gotten into me, now i'm crying as i finish this letter.

 

okay three minutes in now i'm done crying.

hah classic me.

 

that's it honestly, i just freaking miss you, that's all.

 

-ca


	2. 1-31-17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i fucked up

dear cadm,

 

i fucked up.

i am so sorry.

i am the absolute worst.

i am one shitty person.

i am one problematic person.

i'm so fucking sorry.

 

i hate myself, i made you mad.

 

why do i fuck up like this?

 

i don't wanna fucking lose you. i really really don't.

 

i'm sorry.

 

i love you. so fucking much.

 

-ca


	3. 2/6/17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this happened on the 6th of February, but i have only written about it on the 8th.  
> //  
> we went to places we know we shouldn't go.

dear cadm,

 

you were here in my room, we lied down in my bed as i told you endless stories about my life. i held you in my arms, and it was honestly the best thing i have ever felt. the feeling of someone who you love the most is finally there with you. and as if it couldn't get any better, we kissed. at first it was one simple kiss, then it led to another, then another. until we were full on making out. you were my first kiss, and i believe i was yours, too.

the feeling of your lips against mine was indescribable, it was intoxicating, it was amazing. i love every second, minute, hour it passed as we shared kisses together. i can remember was hypnotized you were as we dove down to kiss each other. i can remember how hoarse and dark your voice were, everytime you tried to talk whenever we stopped kissing to catch our breathes. i can remember how deep you were breathing. i can remember how fast your heart was beating. i can remember how your hands were on my face, and how mine was on yours. i can remember how you showed your love to me.

we didn't make love nor had sex no.

just a simple kiss that led into a full making out session.

it was the best day ever. not only i had the chance to kiss the boy i loved so much, but before that, i told you stories, and you were there to listen. today was so much more than the kisses. its about how much you showed you loved me, truly. how much you cared for me.

 

thank you so much.

i love you.

-ca


	4. 2/10/17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we went to places we should've not gone to, again.

dear cadm,

 

you were intoxicating.

 

and i loved every moment of it.

 

from watching the movie.

 

to our tireless make out.

 

thank you.

 

-ca


	5. 2/14/17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> valentine's day

dear cadm,

 

it was valentine's day. you walked with me. you gave me your most wonderful gift, a necklace and a teddy bear. i felt tears forming as i saw you handing them to me. but i wasn't hyped because of that, i was hyped because of the occurring events.

 

you gave me all of you, and i did the same.

 

though it was romantic at first, it was comical in the last.

 

but i did enjoy every single part of it.

 

thank you.

 

i love you so fucking much.

 

happy valentine's day babe.

 

-ca


End file.
